from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
