Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
