You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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