is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So many bounce houses so little time
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
