After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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