After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
