I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
