That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize