OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
