NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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