He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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