I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
