My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
