i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Your penis caused this!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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