Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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