is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
