I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How external is "for external use only"?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dear god my vagina.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
