So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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