Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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