what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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