I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
no, he came in my armpit
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
