Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
