My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
