I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
