Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
