last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
