make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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