just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
