I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
