so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
