Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize