Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
