But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
