The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize