whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
