At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
