I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
