You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just had sex bonerless
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize