The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
