He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
