Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
