There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
