apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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