i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
