I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
