Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think people are normalizing furries
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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