I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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