This girl is more easily done than said...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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