is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
