Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dignity is for republicans.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
