I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
