I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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