i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
