i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
