So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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