he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
