We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
