Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
