some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
