So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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