So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
