If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
