Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
